I will be Mrs. Shayla Marie Linder.
What a journey this has been! From writing letters, to spending random weekends with one another, the Lord has brought us together. To some, it seems to all have happened so fast, but to us, it has been so natural. Being friends for three years before you begin to date does help.
One of the most important things I have learned from this season is that God is full of surprises. If you had told me when I met Darin that we would be getting married, I would have never believed you. We were just friends. We laughed together, played video games, sang to Jesus and played music together during random worship nights in college, worked for housing and suffered through those challenges together, and generally just enjoyed one another in a completely platonic way.
When he left for Basic Training in the Army, we began writing letters....
....Ok, I have to admit that before he left, I kissed him. It was totally impulsive and silly, and I sort of had an idea that he liked me, but the way he kissed me back confirmed it. Oh the risks we take in life! We shared life through words and pictures and in December we both attended Cru Winter Conference in Portland. We were both nervous to show affection, but it was totally clear that we were becoming head of heels for one another.
That December, I saw a strength in Darin I had never seen before. After only two months in training away from the life he knew, and the Lord had begun a mighty work in his life. He was more solid, more real. Still goofy as ever and willing to tell awful jokes, but more willing to dialogue about the reality of hurts and hopes in his life.
He went back to training and I will never forget the letter I wrote to him sometime in January. I had come to a place where I had to admit that, no matter how much I liked him, in the back of my mind I kept thinking "well what about that handsome young man that I may meet at seminary? wherever and whenever that is?" I was afraid to commit and afraid that there may be someone else out there for me. In this letter, I told him that I thought it was wonderful that he liked me, but that I needed to be emotionally guarded and that I could not pursue a relationship because I was unsure what the Lord had for me. It was my attempt to write a gentle "dear john" letter.
He was hurt. I knew he would be. But instead of lashing out in anger or hurt, he continued to seek God and (much to my frustration at the time) continued to pursue me. His maturing character began to show more and more through his letters. Amidst the drawings of guns and bullets that he was learning about and stories that made me laugh, a man of character began to emerge. In one letter I am particularly fond of, he told me that through our pursuit of a romantic relationship, he had discovered that the life he had been living for the Lord was only a shadow of what it could be. He found through this time that he desired to be a man after God's own heart, and that even though he thought he had been living this way, he realized he had not been.
My relationship with him was used as an instrument to call him into a more mature form of godly manhood. To be used by the Lord that way is humbling and awe-inspiring. We began to "officially" date March 9th, 2012, although if you ask either one of us, we had been emotionally attached to one another much earlier than that.
And now we are engaged to be married. I hope to write again soon about contour of our relationship and how we got to where we are today.
Grace and peace,
Shayla M.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
"God’s name is His wireless hotspot."
Dr. Davis, my Systematic Theology 1 professor, makes the class chuckle as he explains that Jesus is where His church is. He is referring to Matthew 18:20, when Jesus says "For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
So He's here, in grad school.
I'm here, in grad school.
In seminary.
Full time.
It really is a dream come true.
I spent the summer in Rhode Island as a beach bum when I was not at either of my two jobs. It was a beautiful time of suntanning, crisp ocean, family, cousin bonding, and freedom. Sometime around the beginning of July I made the decision that I would attend Gordon-Conwell part-time, taking classes online, working, and living with my gracious parents.
T, my admissions rep, called me sometime at the end of July with some news that would change the whole plan. Some funding became available, and I received a scholarship that covered almost half of my tuition for the year. I was surprised, scared, excited, and totally overjoyed. I talked it over with my parents and soon came to the decision that I wanted to seize this opportunity God was giving me and attend full-time.
I applied for housing (which they told me to do even though it was full), and within a week I found out that I was first on the waiting list. Then they found a room for me and it all began to fall into place.
And now I'm here! I'm experiencing full-time seminary. Taking classes like Systematic Theology and Hebrew (Words cannot express my excitement for Hebrew!!) At times I am overwhelmed. It's such a different environment and lifestyle from undergrad. And Darin, my sweet Darin. He is ever-supportive of my endeavors and wants only the best for me. I cannot believe how blessed I am by him and his excitement for this journey.
Hopefully I'll post more often, as I walk around campus I often think to myself, "I definitely need to write about this and share it with friends."
But for now, it's back to studying, praying as the Psalmist did, that I would store up God's Word in my heart, and let it change me from the inside out.
Grace and Peace
Shayla
So He's here, in grad school.
I'm here, in grad school.
In seminary.
Full time.
It really is a dream come true.
I spent the summer in Rhode Island as a beach bum when I was not at either of my two jobs. It was a beautiful time of suntanning, crisp ocean, family, cousin bonding, and freedom. Sometime around the beginning of July I made the decision that I would attend Gordon-Conwell part-time, taking classes online, working, and living with my gracious parents.
T, my admissions rep, called me sometime at the end of July with some news that would change the whole plan. Some funding became available, and I received a scholarship that covered almost half of my tuition for the year. I was surprised, scared, excited, and totally overjoyed. I talked it over with my parents and soon came to the decision that I wanted to seize this opportunity God was giving me and attend full-time.
I applied for housing (which they told me to do even though it was full), and within a week I found out that I was first on the waiting list. Then they found a room for me and it all began to fall into place.
And now I'm here! I'm experiencing full-time seminary. Taking classes like Systematic Theology and Hebrew (Words cannot express my excitement for Hebrew!!) At times I am overwhelmed. It's such a different environment and lifestyle from undergrad. And Darin, my sweet Darin. He is ever-supportive of my endeavors and wants only the best for me. I cannot believe how blessed I am by him and his excitement for this journey.
Hopefully I'll post more often, as I walk around campus I often think to myself, "I definitely need to write about this and share it with friends."
But for now, it's back to studying, praying as the Psalmist did, that I would store up God's Word in my heart, and let it change me from the inside out.
Grace and Peace
Shayla
Monday, May 14, 2012
Finally.
I finally graduated. During my time at Utah State, I think I considered almost every major available to me. I tried Mechanical Engineering for a semester, I considered Biological Engineering, Chemistry, Biology and Bio Chemistry pretty seriously, I was a Mathematics Education major for over three years, and I finally settled on Liberal Arts with minors in Mathematics, Latin Language, and Ancient Greek Language.
6 Years.
14 Semesters.
69 Courses.
191 Credit Hours.
Wow. I was here for a long time.
There were times during my education that I regretted my length of study at Utah State, my indecisiveness. For example, when all of my friends who were my age were graduating in 2010, it was hard to not feel jealous. And it was even harder the next year to see those younger than me receiving their bachelor's degree before me. However, I found that if I constantly compared myself to those who took a shorter amount of time, I could easily despair. Instead, I chose to hope that I was on the right path.
So what's next?
Honestly, I'm not sure.
I have been accepted to two schools so far:
Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary
At The Seattle School, I was accepted to the Master's of Christian Psychology Program, and at Gordon-Conwell, I was accepted to the Biblical Languages Program. I'm waiting to hear back from Regent College in Vancouver, British Columbia.
Over the past year, I have felt torn between two worlds: the world of academia and the world of Christian Psychology. I have decided right now to pursue the languages while I have the time and the energy. I realize how academically rigorous and intensive these programs are and, while I am able, I want to dive in. I also recognize that having a grounded and foundational understanding of the Bible can and will inform the rest of my vocational goals, whatever they may be. If I end up pursuing the vocation of therapist/social worker, the knowledge I gain from a formal theological education will be invaluable. I am trust that God will marry these passions and gifts at some point in my life. I'm hoping that as I continue to discover who He is, and who He has created me to be, I will get closer and closer to the vocation I am called to.
At The Seattle School, I was accepted to the Master's of Christian Psychology Program, and at Gordon-Conwell, I was accepted to the Biblical Languages Program. I'm waiting to hear back from Regent College in Vancouver, British Columbia.
Over the past year, I have felt torn between two worlds: the world of academia and the world of Christian Psychology. I have decided right now to pursue the languages while I have the time and the energy. I realize how academically rigorous and intensive these programs are and, while I am able, I want to dive in. I also recognize that having a grounded and foundational understanding of the Bible can and will inform the rest of my vocational goals, whatever they may be. If I end up pursuing the vocation of therapist/social worker, the knowledge I gain from a formal theological education will be invaluable. I am trust that God will marry these passions and gifts at some point in my life. I'm hoping that as I continue to discover who He is, and who He has created me to be, I will get closer and closer to the vocation I am called to.
I'm excited for the next chapter of my journey.
-Shayla Marie
Thursday, April 12, 2012
March
What a crazy month.
I visited three graduate schools during that time:
The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology in Seattle, WA
Western Seminary in Portland, OR
Regent College in Vancouver, BC
I got my Hunter Education License.
I took a risk and started dating a man who has been pursuing me.
I admitted to myself that I am an intellectual, that I love to learn.
I prayed.
I cried.
I prayed and cried.
I discovered that when Jesus tells us to not worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:34), this command is for every single day, every season, including seasons of making life-altering decisions.
In other words, just because I have to make a decision about next year, this does not mean I get to worry, I have not found a loop-hole.
I visited three graduate schools during that time:
The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology in Seattle, WA
Western Seminary in Portland, OR
Regent College in Vancouver, BC
I got my Hunter Education License.
I took a risk and started dating a man who has been pursuing me.
I admitted to myself that I am an intellectual, that I love to learn.
I prayed.
I cried.
I prayed and cried.
I discovered that when Jesus tells us to not worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:34), this command is for every single day, every season, including seasons of making life-altering decisions.
In other words, just because I have to make a decision about next year, this does not mean I get to worry, I have not found a loop-hole.
New International Version
Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you.
Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you.
New Living Translation
Let my soul be at rest again, for the LORD has been good to me.
Let my soul be at rest again, for the LORD has been good to me.
English Standard Version
Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.
Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.
Psalm 116:7
He is asking me to rest, even in this crazy season of my life.
Rest. My rational person laughs that this, but my heart knows I must trust Him.
Shayla
Thursday, February 9, 2012
The Grey
I live in the land of grey. The world says things are right, the church says those very same things are wrong. So, as a Christian, I am supposed to agree with the church, right?
Yeah I just don't know.
As I grown into my twenty-something self, I am constantly challenged about what I believe about ...well...everything. Women's role in the church, homosexuality, the usage of alcohol and marijuana, and a whole host of other issues.
Currently I'm wrestling with the Vagina Monologues. I'm performing a monologue this year. I fully support them and what they do to raise money to end violence against women (this year proceeds go to CAPSA). But I'm getting backlashes. Backlashes from people for whom I care deeply. I'm stuck between a rock and hard place. Yes, I think that the monologues can be quite offensive at times. Yes, I understand the sacredness of sex and that it needs to be kept, well, sacred.
But.
BUT.
But these monologues are stories from real women. I can't ignore them. I just can't. This year I've gained an appreciation for the viewpoint of my conservative friends, more so than when I was involved last year. What I mean by this is that I have a better understanding of their concerns. I have been a challenger of conservative ideas for awhile, and I see that side more clearly now. Improvement, right? But I still don't think my support and involvement in the monologues is wrong. I have found some enlightening comments from a Catholic nun concerning the monologues. I want to share with the blogosphere:
I'm still in process.
In the land of grey.
Pray for me.
Shayla Marie
Yeah I just don't know.
As I grown into my twenty-something self, I am constantly challenged about what I believe about ...well...everything. Women's role in the church, homosexuality, the usage of alcohol and marijuana, and a whole host of other issues.
Currently I'm wrestling with the Vagina Monologues. I'm performing a monologue this year. I fully support them and what they do to raise money to end violence against women (this year proceeds go to CAPSA). But I'm getting backlashes. Backlashes from people for whom I care deeply. I'm stuck between a rock and hard place. Yes, I think that the monologues can be quite offensive at times. Yes, I understand the sacredness of sex and that it needs to be kept, well, sacred.
But.
BUT.
But these monologues are stories from real women. I can't ignore them. I just can't. This year I've gained an appreciation for the viewpoint of my conservative friends, more so than when I was involved last year. What I mean by this is that I have a better understanding of their concerns. I have been a challenger of conservative ideas for awhile, and I see that side more clearly now. Improvement, right? But I still don't think my support and involvement in the monologues is wrong. I have found some enlightening comments from a Catholic nun concerning the monologues. I want to share with the blogosphere:
. . . I wish our model for encountering this controversy was more in line with Jesus’ encounter at the well in the Gospel of John. When a “promiscuous” Samaritan woman approaches Him, what does Jesus do? Without any props to emphasize His divinity, He dialogues with her, asks her questions, touches her most delicate and painful reality—her sex life. Something about how Jesus addresses her deeply touches her. His demeanor communicates profound respect for everything about her. Women who have been used by men are sensitive in picking up the most subtle cues aimed at them but Jesus’ cue so thoroughly transforms her into an apostle that she goes back to her hometown and tells everyone about the new man in her life! She’s so convincing that they all welcome Jesus as their Messiah in whom they find the wellspring of eternal life. In John’s telling, Jesus is not afraid to come close to us in our most profound vulnerability to heal and save.An excerpt of the rest of her thoughts can be found here.
Taking our cue from Jesus, if the Church stopped protesting the Monologues and instead started engaging women in an honest, healthy and mature dialogue perhaps The Vagina Monologues would no longer be necessary. Until then, I’m afraid we women will have to remain content with a monologue and pray that someone is, at the very least, listening
I'm still in process.
In the land of grey.
Pray for me.
Shayla Marie
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
I'm Furious.
And heartbroken.
About human trafficking. The statistics are staggering. The stories are heartbreaking.
And it's all real.
I am overwhelmed. I have been for quite some time now.
I asked the Lord for direction in my life, to show me what breaks my heart.
He answered.
I met a prostitute in Portland on December 31st, 2011. It was a divine appointment.
I will never be the same.
I hope someday I can make an impact.
Pray for me.
Shayla
About human trafficking. The statistics are staggering. The stories are heartbreaking.
And it's all real.
I am overwhelmed. I have been for quite some time now.
I asked the Lord for direction in my life, to show me what breaks my heart.
He answered.
I met a prostitute in Portland on December 31st, 2011. It was a divine appointment.
I will never be the same.
I hope someday I can make an impact.
Pray for me.
Shayla
Thursday, December 1, 2011
"Welcome to the Kingdom."
My friend Marleah and I got to say this to two ladies last night. Well..really...it was 12:30am (ish) on December 1st.
I am overwhelmed with joy and praise for God Almighty. These two young women have been on serious spiritual journeys this whole semester and so many people in Cru have had an impact on them. God blessed Marleah and I immensely to allow us to be a part of their moments of faith.
One of the coolest things about this whole story is that these two girls are best friends who have been on this journey together. In one night, they both surrendered their lives to Christ. They are new sisters in Christ! My joy and excitement cannot be put into words. Marleah and I just keep smiling goofily at one another that God would invite us in to this very personal and intimate moment.
Grace and peace,
Shayla M.
I am overwhelmed with joy and praise for God Almighty. These two young women have been on serious spiritual journeys this whole semester and so many people in Cru have had an impact on them. God blessed Marleah and I immensely to allow us to be a part of their moments of faith.
One of the coolest things about this whole story is that these two girls are best friends who have been on this journey together. In one night, they both surrendered their lives to Christ. They are new sisters in Christ! My joy and excitement cannot be put into words. Marleah and I just keep smiling goofily at one another that God would invite us in to this very personal and intimate moment.
11 As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” 12 For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, 13 for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Romans 10:11-13God is so good. He can and will do immeasurably more than we can hope or imagine.
Grace and peace,
Shayla M.
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