I Used to Think I Was Beautiful...

...And then I fell beneath the world's standards of beauty. 

Warning: I am about to be terribly candid.

I used to think I looked pretty enough that men would be attracted to me...then I gained weight.  Enough to make me feel terribly uncomfortable in my own skin.  Enough to change my whole perspective about my appearance.  Enough to make me feel...well...ugly and fat.

A plea to my man friends:  Help the women in your life believe they are beautiful.  . The media yells at them enough that they're not.  That they're too round, they have unsightly "muffin-tops," that their skin is not perfect enough, that their stretch marks are ugly.  Pray for the women in your life, give honest complements when merited,  love them well.

A plea to my women friends:  The negative self-talk has to stop.  The self-hatred has to stop. We need to believe that no matter what this twisted world says about beauty, it's just not true. We were fearfully and wonderfully made.  We were created with purpose.  Our Creator loves us deeply. 

Now the challenge is to believe deep down that I am beautiful, that we are beautiful.  That even though I am not the "perfect" size or weight for my height anymore, I am worth loving.

Easier said than done.  But to be truthful, it's the road I'm trying to navigate right now.

Thanks for reading.
Shayla

Five Years Later

November 4th, 2006

That was the day I first believed that Jesus is my Lord and Savior.
Like Paul says in Romans 10:9:

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

I declared with my mouth that I was a sinner, that I could do nothing to earn His love and my salvation, and my life as a Born-Again Christian began. I don't know that I can even begin to put the past five years into words.  I wrote a facebook note several weeks after I took this step of faith, and I thought I'd share it.  I think I describe the experience and the excitement of beginning a new life in Christ quite well:

I love God. And He loves me. He always has. A few weeks ago I got down on my knees and told Him I was willing to give up my life to Him. I have never felt better. God is so good. I finally understand that He is all I need and all that I will ever need. I am so happy and grateful that I am His. I have been reading His Word and trying everyday to grow under His watchful care. And because of His amazing love I am saved forever by His grace. How wonderful is that? How truly amazing and incomprehensible is a God who loves you no matter what you do, who knows you're sinful and always will be. And that's why He sent Jesus, His Word, down to earth as a sacrifice. A living sacrifice. God is so good. He is the truth, the way, the light. That's all there is to it.

Looking at it now I realized I misquoted Jesus when he said in John 14:6 "I am the way, the truth, and the life"--but I don't think it matters much because He IS my light now.

I'm in love with Jesus. That's all there is to it.

Thanks for reading.
Shayla Marie